The Struggles Begin
nyq

קין

 
Cain

having a point designed for piercing:
spear, lance, javelin;

the edge of a blade or shovel; plowshare;
inflexible, fixed, rigid, unforgiving;
patriarch in the Land of Nod.

 

Dejected q because his offering y hadn’t found favor n, Cain floundered q in the grip y of resentment n. He was uneasy q. To accept y this public loss n of standing q   would surely cause him y embarrassing discomfort n. He had turned to farming because of its relative simplicity, but Abel had stayed with the family tradition of ranching. His own thoughts and concerns were Earth-bound, whereas Abel's were somewhat freer.

It simply hadn't been his fault!  In a kind of self defense, he had lashed out q at his brother in jealousy y. His envy n of Abel had settled q within his heart as persistent accusation y, and he simply couldn't tolerate it n. That he had been vulnerable q to such provocation y would tarnish n his good name, in any case q; but the Father's public disrespect of his offerings had been much worse! It was Abel's fault: that show-off had robbed y him of his rightful expectations n!

Cain had become obsessed q—tormented y, even—by this predicament n. He admitted that it might have been driven q, in part, by his own assessment y of the reasons for disappointment n; but that was the point: it was his disappointment that had determined the course of events! Overcome q with self-pity y, he’d lost n control q of his hands y and had given in n to the mounting pressure q to do something y—anything! He'd been exhausted n, after all! Him, fighting the dirt all day every day, while Abel breezed about in the hills with the frolicking sheep! And now, to have this!

Gematria 160   sq:
Preoccupied 
q with his rigid s self image q, a  harried s Cain had ignored q the warnings s of his conscience q; and, already stressed beyond s the limits q of what, to him, was reasonable patience s, he'd been like a
trapped
q animal, his thoughts racing back and forth s in his mind, ready to explode q in perfectly understandable frustration s!

Numerology 43   gm   >   34   dl   >   7   z :
Confused 
m and bitter g, he had lashed out l with what had proven to be a lethal d  thrust z in response to what was— now that he remembered it, again—an arguably minor irritation m.

It wasn't his fault. It was not! He'd simply been trying g to redirect l his discomfort d, hoping to restore some sense of order z. Understandable, right?! But, now!? To do well going forward?! He was supposed to find a way to free up m a pathway g to change l so that he could do well?! How unfair!

Cain loved the thrills d of confrontation z, but Nod would not be nice to him. He knew the drill because he'd written the script; and in a receding corner of his mind, he conceded that—one day—he would surely have to ease up a bit. This wrangling in his heart was getting him nowhere.

Targum: Failing some sort of resolution, his contentious instincts q would seal y his ruin, without much sympathy n. He would be faced with such temptations as are common to Man, and his path to redemption q would require humble y introspection n.

 
Abel
     
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